Snoke
'''Snoke, also known as Supreme Leader Snoke or Goldie McBathrobe, is '''a force-sensitive male of a species of humanoid alien. His master was Goldmember, whom he eventually overthrew and when he did stole his robes and slippers. Before becoming an evil prick, he spent his life in the unknown regions obsessing over Hugh Hefner and his robe collection. Eventully, he got bored, as he knew his gold robe was the best. He was Supreme Leader of the First Order and claimed to have seen the rise and fall of the Galactic Empire. Then again, many had seen it rise and fall. He rarely was seen in the flesh, and prefered to command from the shadows talking to his underlings in a giant hologram form. Snoke is extremely powerful in the force and uses these abilities to complete his goals. He was able to manipulate and turn Ben Solo to the dark side and have him as his apprentice. For Snoke, turning Solo was easy, he just told the Emo that the first order was an Emo gang so Ben joined and became Kylo Ren. He owned a mega Star Destroyer called The Supremacy and was Gaurded by his eight Elite Praetorian Gaurds in his Throne Room. He called Rey to him for his apprentice to kill. However he was betrayed by Solo who cut him in half. Snoke lived and went on to work with Shockwave. When that did not work out, he vanished into hiding once again. After a while, Snoke gave up on galactic domination and used his immortality to open Snoke's Robe Store and Trade, where he ran it for all eternity on the planet Cybertron. His business was interrupted by the transformation of Primus. After the death of Unicron, Snoke reopened his shop, selling shards of Unicron horn to celebrate the victory. Snoke also lead the Nebula Corps, an elite band of wayward Clone Troopers who lived long enough to serve him in the year 46 ABY. Who knows where they were prior to that. However, by 55 ABY, the Nebula Corps had left his service, and were wiped out on Kamino. Snoke continued to run his store for millenia to come. Biography Early Life and Rise to Power Snoke was a handsome alien until an incident with the Jedi which scarred him literally for life. Snoke decided he wanted to be like Emperor Palpatine so he imitated him the best he could. Snoke's evilness caught the eye of the Enforcers of Disney, who recruited him as a minion. Darth Disney was impressed and allowed Snoke a position of power in his universe. Snoke would come to control the organization known as the First Order. The very Galaxy moves at the will of Snoke, who can use his manipulation to gain control over his foes, giving them his desires. He took the son of Leia and Han, Kylo Ren as his apprentice and trained him in the dark side. Kylo destroyed Luke Skywalkers New Jedi Order and killed most his students. Cold War Years later, the soccer ball robot BB-8 had part of a map to Luke Skywalker given to him him by the Resistance pilot Poe Dameron , who got it from an old guy on Jakku named Lor San Tekka. Ren killed Tekka but he did not have the map. Ren then went to Snoke, who told him their had been an awakening in the force. Kylo admitted he felt it, and it triggered him. Snoke told him the droid they were hunting for was in the hands of Han Solo. Kylo then had a fit. Later, Snoke gave the First Orders General Hux permission to destroy the Hosnian system where the New Republic capital was. Hux gave a really over dramatic speech that was really forgettable and The New Republic was then destroyed by Starkiller Base. Snoke then heard about the scavenger girl Rey, who had resisted Kylos mind probe. Snoke was furious that a mere scavenger had been able to resist the dark side user Kylo Ren. He demanded that Ren bring her to him for unknown reasons (as if it's a mystery what a disgusting old hobbit-man would want with a hot young 19-year old girl). Kylo then went to find the missing Rey and departed out onto a long bridge without handrails. Convinent. His father saw him and called out to his son, pleading with him to come home and that they missed him. Solo told Ren that Snoke was just using him for his power and that he will be crushed when Snoke has what he wants. Which was true. Ren then killed Solo because Disney are assholes. Kylo fought and defeated the defect stormtrooper and then lost to Rey who escaped. Poe then destroyed Starkiller base. Hux brought the wounded Ren back to Snoke aboard his secret ship The Supremacy. Snoke spanked Ren for failing. Attack On The Resistance Snoke ordered Hux to attack the Resistance during there evacuation from their base following the destruction of Starkiller Base, so he could get revenge as his designer clothes were on that base. However he still had his best gold robe and slippers. Hux caught up to the Resistance with the First Order fleet but failed to prevent the majority of the Resistrance from escaping after the worthless sacrifice of forgettable Resistance pilot Paige Tico. Snoke called Hux, and a hologram form of Snoke, his head only, magnified to about 10 times it usual size, yelled at Hux for his failure and slammed him to the floor with the force. He then did it some more, and more. Rey found Luke on his island and Ren went to Snoke who now had his cool Golden robe with some golden slippers. He sat in his throne room guarded by the eight Elite Praetorian Gaurds. Kylo got mad when Snoke said he was a failure for losing to Rey. Kylo stood up angrily and Snoke electrocuted him with force lightning. Hux probably found it funny. Snoke then arrived in his ship and began to destroying the resistance ships. He detsroyed all but one of the Resistance ships. Finn and Rose Tico had snuck onto his ship but where betrayed by the Lando ripoff DJ who told Hux and Phasma about the Resistance transports fleeing the Raddus command ship. They began destroying the transports one by one. Rey went to the Supremacy to try to turn Ren back to the light side. The Throne Room Meeting Kylo captured Rey and brought her to Snoke. Snoke told the young Rey to come closer and used the force to pull her to him. She told him he had failed and Snoke laughed, mocking her saying she had found some imaginary weakness in his apprentice. He then had an idea to reveal he was the one behind there force connection and their constant speed dating. This angered Kylo as he did not like that Snoke watched all that. Snoke just smiled at Rey. He then raised her into the air and began torturing her with the force. Snoke then tried to turn her to the dark side but she resisted, trying to force pull her lightsaber from Snoke's throne to her. Snoke then used the force to hit her in the back of the head with it. He then showed Rey the live video of the resistance transports being destroyed and told her that all was lost. He then used the force to freeze her in front of Kylo Ren and told him to kill her and fulfil his destiny by doing so. Kylo was still mad about the speed dating thing. Kylo raised his saber to Reys chest, at the same time turning the one on Snokes throne with the force. Snoke then declared that Kylo would kill his true enemy, as Kylo ignited the Saber on Snokes chair, stabbing the Supreme Leader in the gut. Snoke looked shocked. Rey then used the force to pull her saber through Snokes chest, cutting him in half. His upper body fell from the throne, leaving his lower body and dissected hands on his throne. Aftermath The praetorian gaurds then attacked Rey, as they failed to protect Snoke before he was cut in four parts, they did not deserve to live. Rey and Kylo killed the failure Gaurds. And tried to pull the Lightsaber from each other. The blade split in half like Snoke did and Rey and Kylo were knocked unconscious. Then, Pink haired woman, I mean Resistance Vice Admiral Holdo rammed the Raddus into the Supremacy at light speed in the greatest suicide hit ever, killing Holdo and many on the First Order flagship. Hux later arrived in the Throne room to see the red curtains in flames, the Praetorian gaurds all dead lying on the ground and Supreme Leader Snoke's upper body at the base of his throne. Hux glanced up at the Throne, where Snokes hands and lower half rested. Snokes lower half then slumped off the Throne onto the floor besides his torso. When Ren awoke, he told Hux that the absent Rey was the one who "killed" Snoke and that he wa now in charge. Hux tried to argue but Kylo choked him with the force. Hux agreed to Kylos terms. Hux then went to throw up, unable to unsee the halfs of the Supreme Leader. Darhipedia Exclusive Little did anyone know, Snoke lived. His body faded when Kylo and Hux left his throne room. He returned far away and prepared a new plan that began with getting a new Red Lightsaber. He then though of Kylo killing him and got very angry. He prepared to get revenge on his former apprentice. He changed his gollum face a bit so he would not be confused with him. Snoke got a new ship and left the disney canon into the old canon where he manipllated Darth Elmo and caused lots of chaos before returning to the disney canon to see if Kylo was dead yet. Snoke had many adventures across the Galaxy and caused a lot of problems. He once used the force to lift a very suprised Ewok into the air and making him take a poo in front of his entire clan. He may or may not have killed Darth-Darth Binks. Snoke liked to always be in style hence the Golden Robe and slippers. Snoke was traveling when he found Shockwave and the Decepticons. Shockwave had gained command after beating the scrap out of and exiling his former leader Darth Megatron. Snoke joined forces with ashockwave and the pair found the Clone of Grand Admiral Thrawn in hiding. Thrawn and his remaining supporters joined Snoke and Shockwave and they formed the Shadow Minds from the Supporters of Thrawn and the Deceptcions. They set up a base on Ryloth and began to plan their intergalactic takeover. Snoke used his force powers to destroy the New Republic fleet that orbited Coruscant, sending the remains crashing down to the planet Below. The Shadow Minds then took over Coruscant and had the Jedi Temple become their Palace headquarters. Snoke hosted a party to celabrate their new victory. The Shadow Wars Blitzwing later betrayed the Shadow Minds, and went to inform their foes the Autobots of their plans and bar locations. Thrawns fleet followed blitzwing to the Autobot base and destroyed it, forcing the newly formed The Unity Allies to retreat. Blitzwing was killed when the base exploded. The Shadow Wars then began. The war kicked off with the battle of byss, were Snoke himself entered the battlefield, destroying Allies forces and resulting in the Shadow Minds victory. They soon took control of the rest of the core regions. The battle of Nabooboo happened when the Allies attacked and captured the capital of Theed. Snoke suggested bombing the city, which Thrawn did, ending the battle and retaking Nabooboo. Snoke and Shockwave travelled to the Temple of Darth Sidious on Nabooboo and gained much POWAH there. They became GIGA- Mega - Sith Overlords, the only ones to gain that title. However, the Unity Allies had a victory on Byss thanks to the failure of Commander Datoo. Snoke believed Datoo was a true idiot and was pleased to learn he had been killed on the planet. After the Battle of Paranoss, The Allies tired to free the occupied Jedha, but where brutally defeated. Snoke crushed an enitre squadron with his force powers. Snoke was later in the palace on Coruscant when the infamous Battle of Coruscant began. Snoke was with Shockwave when they faced Optimus Prime and Kyle Katarn in the Shadow Mind throne room. Snoke had a minor deja vu and the battle began. He had POWAH that equaled that of the God Katarn. They had a long brutal fight of Lightsabers and force POWAH. Snoke used force lightning to electocute Kyle and Prime. Eventually, Kyle Katarn pushed Snoke back. Snoke knew he could die to god so he used PURE POWAH to teleport away, abandoning the Shadow Minds he worked to build. Snoke : The Dark Traveller After ditching the Shadow Minds, Snoke contiuned to travel the Galaxy, causing chaos and havoc whereever he went. He found himself at Tosche Station, a place famous for the power converters. Snoke disliked the place and PWNed it. He later traveled to Cybertron. He stayed there for a bit but did not want to attract the attention of Shockwave, so he left. He began to grow back in POWAH on a diet of Nabooboo veg, Pizza and Correlian fries. He later found an old Sepratist War dreadnought. It was not as good as the Supremacy, but Snoke turned it into his base and even gave it a throne room like he had on the Supremacy. Snoke crusied around in his sleak black dreadnought , the Supreme Glory. Reunion In his travels, Snoke eventually stumbled apon the planet Cybertron once again. This time, he landed. His ship was captured by the ground control force led by Nitro, who took the dark sider to Shockwave. Shockwave was unsuprised that Snoke had come back and said he forgave him fro ditching him in the battle against Kyle Katarn. Snoke informed him that Thrawn had moved to another alternate timeline when he died, the same one Snoke came from. Shockwave informed Snoke of his recent problems with Darth Galvatron and Zarack and Snoke agreed to assist Shockwave in getting rid of them once and for all. Following this, Snoke found the bodies of the Clone Trooper sqaud Nebula Corps and added them to his army. On Cybertron Snoke encountered Darth Galvatron when he attacked the Supreme Glory in orbit. Snoke battled Darth Galvatron and chased his metal ass of the ship. Snoke then left again, and Zarack died shortly after and Darth Galvatron was exiled. Snoke was getting bored and traveled around, killing many annoying beings in the Galaxy. He then went into the unknown regions, on a mission to find the first ever Darth. He then set up a place there, running Snoke's Robe Store and Trade, for all eternity. After a whole bunch another stuff... ...something happened. Primus Awakes and the Final Battle Its was a normal day at Snoke's Robe Store and Trade, until the entire planet was shaken. Primus had transformed, and was pissed. Soon after, Unicron showed up, and the two gods began to fight. Seeeing that his store was in danger , he teamed up with the Cybertronians to fight Unicron. During the darkest hour, Snoke sent a message imploring all those who could aid them in their struggle. The response was immense, and millions came to aid the battle, including Darth Porg and the Porgpire, parts of Beagle Force, Gungans, Ewoks, First Order survivors, Resistance fighters, the New New Republic, Revan, and many many others. Primus was successful in killing Unicron, and returned to dormancy, losing his life. Snoke reopened his tore, selling shards of Unicrons horn. Sometime afterwards, he fired the Nebula Corps, who later died on Kamino. Snoke would run his store for millennia to come. Personality And Traits. Snoke was cunning, maniplutive and very powerful. He used his manipulation to unite the former empire to the first order and to turn Ben Solo to the dark side. He used his immense power in the force to bridge the minds of Rey and Kylo. He had a commanding booming voice. Apon joining Shockwave And Thrawn, Snoke became more logical and smart, able to outsmart many jedi and New Republic leaders. Powers and Ablities Snoke could use Force throw and Force Lightning. He could slam the thick head Hux to the ground from the other side of the Galaxy. He was able to raise Rey high into the air and torture her with the force as well as freeze her so Kylo could fulfil his destiny. He was able to bridge the minds of Kylo and Rey in something Rian ripped off from KotOR. He was able to crash the New Republic fleet with the force. Appearance Snoke was very scarred, with a large cut across his forehead and a malformed right cheek. He had another scar at the back of his head and his right eye slumped lower than the left. His face was pale and riddled with burns and folds. He had large hands which also had scars. He wore a large ring on his right hand with a black crystal on it. His body was deformed and hung to one side. He wore a long golden bathrobe and golden slippers on his feet for comfort. Unconfirmed rumors say he has a bleached asshole, but the only person who'd know for sure is Kylo. Trivia and Fun Facts. . Snoke is a Reylo. . He wears slippers because he enjoys The comfort of wearing them . He is very rich. . he likes the colours red and gold. . people like trying to guess the true idenity of him. . he is confused with his cousin. . He has his very own card! List of who Snoke could be ( According to the Internet ) So fans want a true backstory to Snoke, but instead of being normal and accepting him as an awsome new charcter, they have to assume he is someone we have met before so ( sigh ) here's the current list . Darth Plagueis ( the most popular theory ) . Palpatine ( they are both scarred ) . Darth Vader . Mace Windu . A time traveling Kylo Ren ( nope ) . Gollum ( a crossover..) . Charlie Brown ( seriously look at the plush ) . Stewie ( look at the other plush ) . Kit Fisto . Revan . An overcooked Porg . An undercooked Porg . 15 Porgs in a costume . A puppet . A new character. . Jar Jar Binks . Jocasta Nu . Tarkin . That youngling Anakin killed . The pear Anakin cut . The foreskin Anakin had cut when he was a baby . Darth Maul . Ezra Bridger . Kanan . A character that hack-director J.J. Abrams wrote into the Force Awakens because of his strange fetish for "mystery boxes" without actually ever writing a resolution to the mystery, causing hack-director Rian Johnson to kill of the character when the time came for him to write a movie because J.J. gave him literally nothing to work with. Appearances Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens Star Wars Episode VIII The Last Jedi Ep VIII The Last Jedi Novel Shadow Rising 1 ( Movie ) Shadow Rising 1 Novel Shadow Wars at War Movie Shadow Fall movie Snoke : Dark Side Journeys Category:Evil Category:Victims of Darth Vader Category:Superweapons Category:POWAH Category:Sith Mega-Super-Overlords Category:Super-Ultra-POOWWAAAHH-Mega-Overlords Category:Overall eviltude Category:Greatest things ever Category:Coolest individual ever Category:Reasons planets are destroyed Category:Victims of Kyle Katarn Category:Things created by Kyle Katarn Category:Deities Category:Sith Overlords Category:First Order Category:Disney Category:Disney Star Wars